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Question, what is life

प्रश्न :- जीवन क्या है ?

उत्तर :- Office से बचा हुआ समय!!..

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A real confession of an IT Engineer

Confession of an IT Engineer…..

I work in an IT firm and it is pretty common for us to face issues with laptops. We have a service desk that solves our issues when a ticket is raised. One day I was facing some issue with Outlook and I raised a ticket to get it resolved. I got a call from Service desk lady after some time and it went this way:

Lady: Hi I’m calling from service desk, what is the problem?

Me: (I explained the problem).

Lady: Can you please share your screen and give me the control so that I can solve the issue?

Me: (I shared the screen and gave the control. She solved it!!)

Lady: You may close the ticket from your end, the issue is solved.

Me: Thank you very much, I will close the ticket.

I opened her profile in lync (it is business version of skype, where you can chat and view the profiles of your company mates etc.) and had a look at her profile. The display pic looked small in size. I instantly messaged her Employee ID to my colleague(my college mate) and asked him to have a look at her. He replied “She looks good in some angles”.

I tried searching her FB profile with the help of her name, but there were too many results.

I started searching on linked in instead, I found her profile this time. I was trying to enlarge the profile pic and suddenly a message popped up – it says

” Could you please stop sharing your screen!!..😂

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HEY INDIA KEEP INCREASING RESERVATIONS

HEY INDIA KEEP INCREASING RESERVATIONS

You take the reserved; we will take your deserved.

india-keep-increasing-reservations

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Windows 7 detects potato as an external drive

Windows 7 detects potato as an external drive. Lol 😀

windows-detects-potato

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Bill Gates resigned from MS after receiving an email from Rajinikanth

BREAKING NEWS

Bill Gates has resigned as the ‘Chairman of Microsoft’ after receiving an email from Rajinikanth. It reads:

Saar,

I have some questions for you…. Please yanswer them:

Namba wan) The keyboard alphabets are not in order, when will you launch the correct version?

Namba too) There is yeh ‘Start’ button… but no ‘Stop’ button… Rascalaa, where it is?

Namba tree) I have already learned Microsoft Word, when are you “laanching” Microsoft Sentence?

Namba for) There is yeh Recycle bin… but…there is nobody coming to collect that bin. Why???

Your name is Bill… But in India they orr selling computers without Bill… Why???

Yand finally yeh personal question:
Your surname is Gates… But you are selling Windows… Why??

With Regards,
Rajinikanth

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Kya tumne source code build kiya

Manager – kya tumne source code build kiya?

Employee- 🏢

Mgr- ye kya hain?

Employee- building … 😁

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Clients do not come first Employees come first

Clients do not come first, Employees come first..
If you take care of your employees; they will take care of the clients..

take-care-of-employees

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Dedicated to all Software Engineers

Dedicated to all Software Engineers..

Humaari shakhsiyat ka andaza tum kya lagaoge ghalib….

Guzarte hain jo hum kabristan se, toh murde bhi uth ke pooch lete hain “Woh issue resolve hua kya.??” 😂

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A DBA helped Mumbai cops to solve Sheena Bora case

Do you know how Mumbai cops cracked the Sheena Bora murder case and nailed down Indrani Mukerjea for being dba-helped-cops-in-sheena-bora-casethe culprit and master mind?

Cops admitted that it’s a SQL DBA who helped them out solving this case and giving them a starting point for the case investigation..

Curious Media asked the DBA..
Media: Sir, you being a Database Administrator, how you helped the cops to resolve such mysterious case?
DBA: When I was asked to query the database and prepare a report; I got confused in 1:M relationship and put a CROSS JOIN on “Indrani Family” table and the result was a Cartesian Product.

indrani-mukerjea-family-sheena-bora