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Dedicated to all Software Engineers

Dedicated to all Software Engineers..

Humaari shakhsiyat ka andaza tum kya lagaoge ghalib….

Guzarte hain jo hum kabristan se, toh murde bhi uth ke pooch lete hain “Woh issue resolve hua kya.??” 😂

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A DBA helped Mumbai cops to solve Sheena Bora case

Do you know how Mumbai cops cracked the Sheena Bora murder case and nailed down Indrani Mukerjea for being dba-helped-cops-in-sheena-bora-casethe culprit and master mind?

Cops admitted that it’s a SQL DBA who helped them out solving this case and giving them a starting point for the case investigation..

Curious Media asked the DBA..
Media: Sir, you being a Database Administrator, how you helped the cops to resolve such mysterious case?
DBA: When I was asked to query the database and prepare a report; I got confused in 1:M relationship and put a CROSS JOIN on “Indrani Family” table and the result was a Cartesian Product.

indrani-mukerjea-family-sheena-bora

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DBA answers why kattappa killed Bahubali

Every Database Administrator will agree to this fact.
“Why Kattappa Killed Bahubali” ?
Because..
Bahubali was a developer..
AND
Kattappa was the DBA in the same organization..

Bahubali knew the “SA” password.. So, Kattappa decided to kill him instead of changing the “SA” password..  😀

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If Manjhi was a DBA in IT company

If Manjhi was a DBA in IT company, he would have said..
“Developer ke bharose na baithiye, kya pata Developer aapke bharose baitha ho” 😂😂😂

Fir DBA bhi esa bolega ke
“Jab tak ye backup hoga nai tab tak ye server chodunga nai..” 😄😄😄

After finishing up the backup
DBA will shout…
“Shandar Jabarjast Jindabad..”
😄😄😜😜😜

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Job applications now a days are hilarious

Job applications now a days:
We’re looking for someone aged between 22-26 with 30 years of strong experience.

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Database Administrator proposed a beautiful lady

Finally a Database Administrator proposed a beautiful lady..
DBA: Will you marry me?
Lady: You are little overweight. I will accept your proposal only after you lose 10KG next week..
DBA: Not a big deal, I have truncated terabytes of databases into megabytes.
(The DBA worked hard in a gym the whole week but did not lose a KG)
DBA texts to the lady on 7th day: ALTER DATABASE COMMAND FAILED. 😀